This triad of marriage's essentials may be the foundation, but there is also much more involved in making a union long-lasting and successful. "You need to be in charge of your own happiness," asserts Jennifer, the psychiatric social worker. "If you let someone else be responsible for it, you'll never truly be happy. Your mate should enhance your happiness, your attitude and your life, not create it," she adds.
Not making another person responsible for your happiness can only happen when you have fully explored yourself. "People aren't getting married at 21 anymore. They're waiting longer because they want to better explore themselves," says Heckman. That said, when a woman has a strong sense of herself and where she wants her future to go, she can then take ownership for creating and sustaining her own happiness.
As you find yourself yearning to take that walk of a lifetime down the aisle, keep in mind:
1. There should be no such thing as jumping in with your eyes closed
2. Spending lots of time with and getting to know a potential mate is essential and if it doesn't feel right, it's not because you're being "too picky"
3. The only people who benefit from divorce are the lawyers
4. And, finally, best put by famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Marry in haste and repent at leisure."
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