"Love in a marriage must be unconditional," states Heckman, "because if you're constantly trying to fulfill someone else's conditions, you'll ultimately fail."
Good signs:
* In stressful times or crisis, you are side by side. You have the ability to comfort one another and provide the necessary support and advice.
* There is a commitment to be in a monogamous relationship.
* You are truthful.
* You give of yourself, make sacrifices in order to make the other person happy, and are willing to forsake some personal pleasure or gains for the benefit of the marriage.
* You are emotionally, physically, and mentally compatible, attentive to each other�s needs as both friends and lovers.
Warning signs:
* When the going gets tough, he can't be found.
* He considers himself a latter-day Don Juan, constantly eyeing the opposite sex.
* You hear him lie convincingly and/or grossly exaggerate to others (which means he just as easily does this with you).
* You are familiar with the phraseology "If you would just . . . then I would love you more."
* There is little physical affection, laughter, or comradery between the two of you.