Women is...: Communication and Trust

Communication and Trust

Dr. Waters believes that long-distance relationships are on the rise in today's fast-paced world. "The job market is problematic. One person may be building a career while the other has to relocate because his or her company is downsizing. Something has to give. Traditionally, it's been the woman because she's making less money. Continuing the relationship from a distance is a new alternative that can work if the relationship is strong."

Even long-distance marriage, once unheard-of, is becoming more common: One spouse will get an important career opportunity in a faraway location, and the other finds equally compelling reasons to stay put.

Jean and Craig had been married for seven years. Craig, a photojournalist, was getting his Ph.D. at the University of Wisconsin when Jean received an exciting offer from the University of Nevada to establish a curriculum in visual communications.

"What made it possible was our mutual concern with each other's needs and aspirations," Jean says. "I could have continued in the same dead-end job, but Craig knew I wouldn't have been happy. At the same time, I wanted him to have the best possible Ph.D."

"We did a lot of talking. It's important that you not have trust issues to deal with. We knew each other really well. I liked that he worried about me a little. I worried about him too," she says.

Jean and Craig made a point of getting together every five weeks � daily phone calls were important too. "They were pretty mundane," Jean recalls, " a lot of 'I ate this, I went there,' the kind of things we might have talked about at dinner if we'd been together. But isn't that what relationships are about � all the little things you're doing and feeling?"