Women is...: Pleasure Points

Pleasure Points

There are many small things couples can do on an ordinary day that take mere seconds of time. Dr. Fraenkel calls these "60-second pleasure points" � fun and even sensual things that last a minute or less. Some of these "pleasure points" are things partners can do when they're together. Others should be possible to do when they're apart.

Six items scattered across a day � at least one in the morning, some when physically apart, and at least one in the evening � create a kind of "connect-the-dots" intimacy. Couples who do this exercise experience what Dr. Fraenkel calls, "an arc of pleasure and connection" that makes them feel like they've been connected for the entire day. This new level of connection can truly be a love saver when it stimulates the couple's desire to spend larger amounts of time together and their willingness to devote more time to working out problems.

Partners can brainstorm together and come up with fun "pleasure points" that appeal to them personally. Here are some suggestions to start you thinking:

Things to do together:

* Read a poem to your partner
* Share a story
* Scrawl "I love you" with shaving cream or lipstick on the bathroom mirror before your husband uses it
* Dance with each other for 60 seconds
* Feed each other a handful of grapes, or sections of an orange, or a banana
* Have a 60-second pillow fight
* Look at a sunset together
* Arm wrestle
* Play "footsies"

Things to do apart:

* Call your lover and whisper "I love you and miss you"
* Send a caring email
* Send a joke by fax
* Write "mmmmmmm thinking of you" on a piece of paper and slip it into your partner's wallet or pocket
* Create a list of all the fun things you'd like to do with your partner and put it in his briefcase or lunch bag
* Write a short love letter and mail it to his office