Women is...: Learning to Adjust

Learning to Adjust

Readjustment to couple-hood can be another unexpected challenge when you've become used to saying "good-night" to a telephone. "Before long I'd reverted to my single girl ways. I started writing around 4 p.m. and finished about l [a.m.]. And, with no one else to consider, I got pretty messy. Craig likes to begin writing at 5 a.m. Also, he's very tidy. The hardest part, when my stint in Reno was over and we both had teaching jobs in Wisconsin, was readjusting to each other's quirks.

This "readjustment process" can be tough when the time you have to spend together is limited. Karina, a New York writer, spent many long weekends with Daniel, a Los Angeles-based computer consultant, in either her city or in his. "The first day or so, we really wouldn't be getting along. We'd fight over little things. It scared me until I realized that we always took a few days to 'get used to each other.' Once we allowed for this, and there wasn't so much pressure to get along all the time, things became a lot easier."

For Antoinette, the long-distance relationship that everyone said was crazy is going strong since her first spontaneous romantic escape on that cruise. Jerry visits her in California often, and she makes the trip to D.C., whenever she can. "Both of us are dedicated to our work but still make time for each other. We communicate regularly by phone and email, but I also feel that it's important to see and know each other on home ground. We've passed that test too."

Romantic rendezvous are a fringe benefit. Last New Year's Eve, the couple made a commitment: "We're going to celebrate the millennium � and three years of long-distance togetherness � in Rome, the Eternal City."